I missed Saturday Spankings this week, again, but I have a good excuse this time. It's my birthday! Today!
Since both my husband and myself have to work today we celebrated by taking the family out for dinner at a Japanese Hibachi restaurant last night. Neither of my children had ever been to one, but I really like Japanese food and since it was my birthday I picked. I was slightly worried that they'd refuse to eat anything since they've both spent the summer eating nothing but grilled chicken, hamburgers and tacos, on constant rotation. And only one will eat hamburgers and one will eat tacos. Some nights I literally make three different meals- burgers for one, tacos for the other and something else for me and my husband if we're sick of burgers and tacos. It's ridiculous, and entirely my fault, I know.
Anyway, you can understand my worry that there might be a revolt over my dinner selection last night. With this in mind I decided to sweeten the pot on the way there, or so I thought.
Me: At the restaurant we're going to we sit at a big bar and the chef cooks right in front of you.
Kid One: We've seen a place like that on "insert kid's show they watch way too much of"
Kid Two: No it was on "insert other kid's show they watch too much of, and that I find completely obnoxious"
Discussion between children in the back seat about which show they saw it on, and what the name of the place was, and who went there, etc.
Me: Anyway, at this place we're actually going to, in real life, they build a volcano out of onions and set the food on fire!
Kid One: Cool! They set it on fire right in front of you?
Me (not noticing Kid Two isn't looking entirely thrilled with this information): Yep, they set it on fire. And they throw vegetables at you and you have to try to catch them in your mouth!
Kid One: Awesome! I'm going to try to catch some.
Kid Two: I don't want them to set food on fire and throw it at me!!
I belatedly realize that Kid Two is freaked way the hell out, and I struggle not to laugh at what the poor child is imagining. Men in chef's uniforms setting her dinner on fire, then throwing flaming pieces of meat and vegetables at her. That she has to catch in her mouth. While on fire.
We tried to explain, through smothered grins, that the fire and the food throwing happened separately, but she wasn't convinced. When the chef came out later she retreated to the wall behind our table, a good four feet away, and watched with big eyes until the flame portion of the evening was over. After that she relaxed and joined us at the table, though only on Dad's lap. She even took a turn having pieces of broccoli tossed at her face. They both ate some, though Kid One was much more adventurous than Kid Two. All in all it was a really fun evening.
After we returned home we put the kids to bed and decided to relax with a frosty beverage. I thought we'd just hang out for a bit, spend some 'quality' time together, then go to sleep. My husband had other ideas. When he started rummaging around in the utensil drawer I knew what was coming.
Me: I don't want to stay up too late, I have to work tomorrow.
Him: Then you should probably pull your pants down now.
He set a wooden spoon on the counter and looked at me expectantly
I won't tell you how old I am, but suffice it to say that I'm a little sore from receiving all my birthday spankings with the handle of a wooden spoon! Plus a warm up. Not that I'm complaining because we had some excellent 'quality' time afterward. Snicker, snicker.
So that's my excuse for missing Saturday Spankings this week.I hope you understand.